College application essay prompts
Paper Presentation Topics On Vlsi Design
Tuesday, August 25, 2020
Drug Problem in Russia
ââ¬Å"Illicit drugs crush endless individual lives and sabotage our societyâ⬠(Kofi Annan). The Peoples Republic of China accepts that United Nations International Drug Control Program needs to promptly tackle the issue of medications on the four fronts: the assembling, dealing, and the maltreatment of unlawful medications, and recovery of addicts. China is a maker of forerunner synthetic substances. The plant Ephedraplant that develops wild in north China can be transformed into the antecedent synthetic ephedrine. The Peoples Republic additionally trades Potassium Permanganate. It very well may be lawfully sent out, yet is normally traded in mass by bosses to cocaine delivering nations. Potassium Permanganate is a vital fixing in the creation of cocaine. In 1998 300 tons of forerunner synthetic compounds were seized in China. The creation of Methamphetamine is turning into a significant issue. We delivers constrained measures of opium for household utilization. The Peoples Republic screens each of the 28-antecedent synthetic compounds recorded in the 1988 UN Drug Convention. In 1998 there were 540,000 individuals dependent on drugs in China. The most well-known addictions were to heroin, opium, invigorates, and depressants. Most of the issue is with our more youthful populace. 80 percent of the addictions happen with those under the age 35. The Peoples Republic works 600-medicate treatment focuses across the country. These medication focuses take a shot at the ââ¬Å"cold turkeyâ⬠way to deal with get out from under their medication propensities. Unlawful medication use was practically wiped out in the Peoples Republic after a huge battle propelled by the focal government in the mid 1950s. In the mid 1980s when the Peoples Republic finished its noninterference and opened up to the outside world medication dealing and enslavement resuscitated. Capital punishment can be passed on to lawbreakers dealing 10 grams of heroin and 15 years in prison for those got with 50 grams of opium. The Chinese government has built up a Counter Narcotics Bureau in the Ministry of Public Security to help in against medicate endeavors. In February 1998 the legislature began a significant medication instruction program planned for forestalling drug use. The Peoples Republic has offered help to the UN supported activity that gives ranchers in Burma and Laos seeds, manure, and a steady market to sell their item. This activity is to urge Burma and Laos to change from developing opium to delivering money yields and food grains. From what the Peoples Republic has recorded, this program has altogether brought about the diminishing in poppy creation in watched territories. China is a significant travel course for Southeast Asian heroin bound for western markets. The Peoples Republic is situated in the ââ¬Å"Golden Triangleâ⬠, comprising of the nations Burma, Vietnam, and Laos. Burma's medication dealers utilize the 2,000-kilometer outskirt with the Peoples Republic. 90% of the heroin streaming into the Peoples Republic can be followed back to Burma. People groups Republic law restricts the washing of continues from medicate dealing, however banking and legitimate guidelines are as a rule behind the quick paced movement of the dealers. Hong Kong, a significant Asian budgetary focus, is very powerless against the utilization of its banking and financing frameworks for laundering of medication cash. To take care of this issue the Peoples Republic proposes that the initial phase in taking care of the medication issue is that there needs discourse with governments. The main enduring advancement that can be made to battle medicate misuse and dealing relies upon solid duty to the reason on both territorial and overall levels. The fundamental key to forestall request is training. Training has worked for China on the Yunnan area where youngsters in the lesser optional level (age 11-13) direct instructive discussions about medications and do exercises. To strengthen the instruction they barrage the media with open help declarations, narrative dramatizations including genuine instances of medication addicts for broadcasting during prime time on neighborhood TV. The subsequent front is the flexibly of the medications to the purchasers. The principle arrangement is crop replacement. The premise of harvest replacement is that the legislature gives the apparatuses, the seeds, and some manure. At that point the legislature needs to give a commercial center that they can sell their products. The primary explanation this will work that the makers will currently be bringing in cash off of genuine money crops rather than opiates. The third issue is the dealing of medications across numerous nations fringes. The best approach to take care of the issue is to go legitimately to the source and never let the medications leave the nation. The best approach to do this is to set up a global team on tranquilize concealment. With the accessibility of the web governments can connect data rapidly to stifle dealing. At that point governments can team up on control missions to prevent the medications from leaving the source nations. The third issue is treatment and restoration. This is to a lesser extent an overall issue then it is a national one. Following what The Peoples Republic has done, the nations of the world could set up national facilities for detoxification and evacuation of their synthetic conditions. China has 600 facilities recommending that bigger nations have more and littler nations have less focuses. The recognized nation of the Netherlands feels that medications are not the purchaser's shortcoming, yet the dealers so they attempt to indict the dealers. In spite of their rationale drugs are everybody's issues and ought to be managed that way. The recognized nation of Saudi Arabia has a zero resistance for drugs. The intellectually lacking speculation on their part that not every person is qualified for a reasonable preliminary is likewise terrible rationale. The Peoples Republic permits all the denounced to have a preliminary and China recommends that the world keep this order and not simply run off and murder a few people. The medication marvel is an interesting issue in the manner it torment out society. It imperils the heath of people, political and prudent turn of events, and the wellbeing and security of the legislature. Opiates are one of the serious issues tormenting the present reality. This issue must be battled now and with full participation of all legislatures of the world in the event that anybody ever needs to control the medication issue.
Saturday, August 22, 2020
Noise Pollution Essay -- environment environmental
Commotion Pollution Commotion contamination is definitely not an important cost to pay for living in a mechanical society. Much should be possible to decrease the seriousness of the issue. For instance, vehicles and different machines can be worked to create less commotion. Four-cycle motors can supplant a lot noisier two-cycle motors in such items as lawnmowers, speedboats, and fly skis. Marks that show the commotion levels of apparatuses and devices can assist purchasers with maintaining a strategic distance from loud items and pick calmer other options. Much after commotion is produced, steps can be taken to lessen human presentation to it. At homes or in workplaces, protection of dividers and twofold coating of windows can stifle sound from traffic, neighbors, and different sources from the outside world. Sound dividers along roadways can shield close by neighborhoods from traffic clamor. People ought to secure themselves with earplugs or mufflike ear defenders, especially when commotion levels surpass 85 decibels. In the industrialized countries, governments have laws and arrangements to counter clamor contamination. In the United States, at any rate six government offices are engaged with controlling commotion contamination. Since 1969 the FAA has observed and controlled commotion from planes. The office necessitates that new airplane fulfill indicated commotion guidelines and that old ones be retrofitted or resigned. Neighborhood air terminal specialists, with FAA endorsement, lessen the effects of commotion contamination by directing trips over water or uninhabited territories on departure and landing, and by limiti...
Sunday, August 2, 2020
Can People Learn to Be More Compassionate
Can People Learn to Be More Compassionate Theories Social Psychology Print Can People Learn to Be More Compassionate? By Kendra Cherry facebook twitter Kendra Cherry, MS, is an author, educational consultant, and speaker focused on helping students learn about psychology. Learn about our editorial policy Kendra Cherry Updated on September 23, 2019 AMV Photo / Getty Images More in Theories Social Psychology Behavioral Psychology Cognitive Psychology Developmental Psychology Personality Psychology Biological Psychology Psychosocial Psychology Compassion involves the ability to feel empathy for others. This ability to understand the suffering of other people is an important component that motivates prosocial behaviors, or the desire to help. The ability to feel compassion for another person requires also having empathy and awareness. You need to be able to understand what another person is facing and understand what it might be like to be in their place. It is important to note that compassion involves more than just empathy. Compassion helps people feel what others are feeling, but also compels them to help others and relieve their suffering. Until recently, scientists knew very little about whether compassion could be cultivated or taught. Utilizing Meditation to Teach Compassion In one study published in the journal Psychological Science, researchers found that not only can adults learn to be more compassionate, teaching compassion could also result in more altruistic behaviors and actually lead to changes in the brain. The evidence suggests that not only can adults learn to be more compassionate, but that learning compassion can lead to lasting changes in how a person thinks and acts. How exactly did researchers teach compassion? In the study, young adults were taught to engage in compassionate meditation, an ancient Buddhist technique intended to increase caring feelings for people who are experiencing suffering. How exactly does this meditation work? While meditating, the participants were asked to imagine a time when someone was suffering. They then rehearsed wishing for the relief of that persons suffering. The participants were also asked to practice experiencing compassion for different types of people, starting with someone they would easily feel compassion for, such as a family member or close friend. They were then asked to practice feeling compassion for a stranger, as well as for someone they had a conflict with. Another group of participants called the control group, was trained in a technique known as cognitive reappraisal in which people learn to reframe their thoughts in order to feel less negative. The researchers wanted to determine if people could learn to change their habits over a relatively short period of time, so both groups of participants received Internet training for a period of 30 minutes every day for two weeks. The Mental Health Benefits of Meditation Putting the Compassion Training to the Test What sort of impact did this compassion training have? How did it compare to the results of the control group? The researchers wanted to know if compassion training would help the participants become more altruistic. The participants were asked to play a game in which they could spend their own money to help another person in need. The game involved playing with two other anonymous people online, one who was a Dictator and one who was a Victim. As the participant watched the Dictator share an unfair amount of money with the Victim, the participant could then decide how much of their own money to share and then redistribute the money between the Dictator and the Victim. The results revealed that those trained in compassion were more likely to spend their own money to help the player who had been treated unfairly, an example of altruistic behavior. These players were more likely to engage in this altruism than those in the control group who had been trained in cognitive reappraisal. Compassion Training Changes the Brain The researchers also wanted to see what kind of impact this compassion training had on the brain. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) both before and after training, researchers were able to see how compassion meditation influenced brain activity. What they observed was that those participants who were more likely to be altruistic after the compassion training had an increase in brain activity in the inferior parietal cortex, an area of the brain associated with empathy and understanding for other people. Other regions of the brain associated with positive emotions and emotional regulation also showed an increase in activity. The researchers suggest that like many other abilities, compassion is a skill that can be improved with practice. The researchers believe that the results of the study offer exciting possibilities for helping people build compassion, thus transforming the lives of many. Healthy adults are not the only ones who can benefit from such training. Teaching children and adults compassion might help reduce bullying and help those who struggle with social issues. How to Become a Better Person The Importance of Teaching Compassion Why is it important to know that compassion can be learned, even in adults? Because compassion is a central component of so many prosocial behaviors including altruism and heroism. Before we take action to help another person, it is important that we not only understand the individuals situation but that we also feel the drive to relieve his or her suffering. According to some researchers, compassion involves three key things: First, people must feel that the problems another person is facing are serious.They must also believe that these troubles are not self-inflicted. When people believe that a persons predicament is his own fault, they are less likely to empathize and less likely to help.Finally, people must be able to picture themselves in a similar situation facing the same problems. It may seem like a tall order, but the research suggests that compassion is something that we can learn. Not only can we learn how to become more compassionate, but building this emotional ability can also lead us to take action and help those around us. A Word From Verywell In todays busy world, it is all too easy to feel that people have lost their connection with one another. Sometimes the onslaught of bad news can lead people to feel that there is little they can do to change what is happening in the world. Research suggests, however, that compassion is a skill that can be learned and strengthened. Perhaps by learning how to increase our compassion, people can build deeper, more meaningful connections with others that will inspire good works, helpful actions, and simple human kindness. Can Self-Compassion Make You Happier?
Saturday, May 23, 2020
Satire In A Modest Proposal - 2026 Words
The Morality of Irish Baby Food It is human nature to want to believe that if you have good living conditions, the everyone else must also have good living conditions; however, if someone did not fit this ideal, then it was his or her own fault and no one else had anything to do with it. This was a common theme centuries ago, and it still a common theme today, though which particular characterizes makes someone privileged continues to change over time. In Jonathan Swiftââ¬â¢s essay ââ¬Å"A Modest Proposal,â⬠Swift uses the elements of satire to ridicule Irish oppressors, specifically the Catholics and the rich. LITERARY ANALYSIS One of the most commonly used elements of satire is irony, which Swift uses freely to show the monetary and religiousâ⬠¦show more contentâ⬠¦The most significant part of this is ââ¬Å"the projector finding a useful ally in an American savage currently residing in London, who confirms his hypothesis that young babies would make tasty and wholesome dishes for the tables of Irish gentlemen,â⬠(Chowdhury) where Swift has included both America and England, both locations being disliked by the Irish in varying amounts. Swift is satirizing the Catholics and outside oppressors through his constant use of irony when speaking about the unnecessary number of children in Ireland, especially after the prior famines. Swift also uses hyperbole to show the differences between the rich and poor and the Catholics and Protestants. In the first paragraph of ââ¬Å"A Modest Proposal,â⬠Swift exaggerates the way mothers ââ¬Å"are forced to employ all their time in strolling to beg sustenance for their helpless infantsâ⬠(1) and suggests that the only possible outcomes for these infants are to ââ¬Å"turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dear native country, to fight for the Pretender in Spain, or sell themselves to the Barbadoesâ⬠(1). In omitting other possibilities, Swift is using hyperbole to portray the lack of options for the poor in Ireland. Moreover, he dehumanizes the children when he decides ââ¬Å"that of the hundred and twenty thousand children, already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, â⬠¦ which is more that we allow to sheep,Show MoreRelatedA Modest Proposal On Satire1239 Words à |à 5 PagesSatire is a specific classification of writing th at occasionally makes utilization of realistic and performing expressions with the aim of scorning society into self-change. With social criticism being its fundamental objective, it uses dark sarcasm as its primary device to get the point across. Satire impacts people to reconsider themselves so as to alter senseless thoughts and behaviors. Different techniques are utilized in delivering the satirical impact, those of which use wit as their primaryRead MoreSatire Modest Proposal Essay837 Words à |à 4 Pagescan be slow or non-existent. However some social commentators, such as Jonathan Swift in his pamphlet A Modest Proposal, use clever, targeted, and ironic criticism to bring the social state of Ireland to the attention of indolent aristocrats. He accomplishes such criticism through satire, specifically Juvenanlian satire. Swiftââ¬â¢s A Modest Proposal stands as a perfect example of the type of satire that plays upon the audienceââ¬â¢s emotion by creating anger concerning the indifference of the voice createdRead MoreSatire in Tartuffe and Modest Proposal1560 Words à |à 7 PagesCharles Crespo Professor Margaret Hazell ENG 2850 9 April 2013 What is satire, satire is a particular genre of literature that sometimes makes use of graphic and performing arts with the intent of ridiculing society into self-improvement. With social criticism being its main goal, it utilizes wit and dark sarcasm as its main tools to illustrate its point. Satire influences individuals to reevaluate themselves in order to modify senseless thoughts and behaviors. Various techniques are usedRead MoreSatire of a Modest Proposal Essay1331 Words à |à 6 Pageshis pamphlet ââ¬Å"A Modest Proposal.â⬠The main argument for this mordantly ironic essay is to capture the attention of a disconnected and indifferent audience. Swift makes his point by stringing together a dreadfully twisted set of morally untenable positions in order to cast blame and aspersions on his intended audience. Jonathan Swiftââ¬â¢s ââ¬Å"A Modest Proposalâ⬠employs despicably vivid satire to call for change in a world of abuse and misfortune. The entire proposal stands as a satire in itself; an analogyRead MoreSatire in the Essay A Modest Proposal956 Words à |à 4 Pagesï » ¿ Satire: A Modest (Jersey) Proposal Forget all that nonsense of college improving your character or teaching you how to learn. That is so passÃÆ'à ©, so 1990s. In fact, the notion of college being necessary itself may simply be an expensive myth: Bill Gates and Steve Jobs both dropped out of college, right? Sure, you can go to college to become a lawyer or a doctor and please your parents. But why bother with pesky physics and political science when there is a much more lucrative way to makeRead MoreEssay on A Modest Proposal: Satire at Its Best643 Words à |à 3 PagesA Modest Proposal: Satire at Its Best Jonathan Swifts 1729 essay, A Modest Proposal, was a true example of satire at its best. Many readers at the time rejected the essay because they failed to understand the irony. It is presently one of the most well known works of satire and is a classic example of the technique most commonly used today. The entire essay from the title down to the last sentence were meant to be taken ironically, which is a rare form, but very effective when trying gettingRead MoreSatire in Swifts A Modest Proposal Essay597 Words à |à 3 PagesSatire in Swifts A Modest Proposal Swifts aim of his proposal is to expose the cruelty of the rich landlords of Ireland, who were not being aware of the poverty and suffering of the Irish people. Swifts proposal is an attempt to suggest a remedy of Irelands situation by shocking those who are powerful enough to inflict change on Irelands appalling circumstances. In order to do this Swift creates an alter egoRead MoreSatire in A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift745 Words à |à 3 PagesYou canââ¬â¢t make fun of what isnââ¬â¢t real. When considering what lines can be crossed with satire, many people are most sensitive about protecting feelings; the common consensus seems to be that satirists should not overstep their boundaries by addressing touchy subjects and making fun of sensitive issues. While breaking hearts may not garner positive responses, it is important to understand that as a medium, satire is meant to offend oneââ¬â¢s sensibilities. It serves as a platform to spark discussion throughRead MoreSatire : A Modest Proposal And The Rape Of The Lock905 Words à |à 4 PagesIn this paper, satire in A Modest Proposal and The Rape of the Lock will be discussed. The satire within these two texts will be linked by showing how each writer attacked the accepted way of life or common belief in order to present their own opinion on the matter. What makes these two writings a good comparison is that although one is in essay form and the other in poetic form, they are both from the same time period; they were written 17 years apart in the beginning of the 18th century. This isRead MoreUsing Satire in A Modest Proposalâ⬠by Jonathan Swift760 Words à |à 4 Pagesââ¬Å"A Modest Proposalâ⬠by Jonathan Swift, is an essay that uses satire. Merriam-Webster defines satire as: a way of using humor to show that someone or something is foolish, weak, bad, etc.: humor that shows the weaknesses or bad qualities of a person, government, society, etc. ââ¬Å"Satire may make the reader laugh at, or feel disgust for, the person or thing satirized. Impishly or sardonically, it criticizes someone or something, using wit and clever wordingââ¬âand sometimes makes outrageous assertions or
Monday, May 11, 2020
Changes in Television from Past to Present - 1801 Words
Cajoleas Changes In Television From Past to Present Imagine a world without television and the conveying messages that comes along with it. The intense change from the1980ââ¬â¢s to modern day society seem to portray the ââ¬Å"uglyâ⬠side of our culture through sex, drugs, and family settings. The dramatic difference from the extreme change has been acknowledged as a cultural phenomenon in our society. The television has become such an integral part of homes in our world that life without this improvement seems impossible. It has provided entertainment to people of all ages, especially children, since the beginning in the 1940ââ¬â¢s. Today, the majority of television shows are inadequate and uneducational seeming to portray violence, crime, and sex positively in our society. Television in the 80ââ¬â¢s and 90ââ¬â¢s provided valuable life lessons as well as encouraging concrete messages to live by. The arguing differences between the two eras seem almost obvious to bring to an acknowledgeable point. ââ¬Å"This show is very disgusting. Has a lot of sex, and more sex. It has drinking, gambling, cussing, sexual content, degradation of women, sexual dialogue and language, etc.â⬠¦Ã¢â¬ Common sense media speaks out on behalf of the present day shows on our television today(Two and a Half Men - TV Review.). Drugs affect different people in different ways. One person can take and abuse drugs, yet never become addicted, while another merely has one experience and is immediately hooked. Todayââ¬â¢sShow MoreRelatedAmusing Ourselves For Death : Public Discourse On The Age Of Show Business, By Neil Postman1495 Words à |à 6 Pagesget across to the readers easily. Postman proposes that the public, without recognizing it, is losing its ââ¬Å"autonomy, maturity, and historyâ⬠. His thesis is that television is changing the way people interact by putting all public rhetoric into on-screen entertainment. He suggests that risks are high if the public does not notice television changing the publics view and that we need to try and regain control over it. First, Postmanââ¬â¢s anger towards the way news is televised under the media-metaphorRead MoreImpact Of Advertising On The Uk968 Words à |à 4 Pagesnecessity. Throughout the years advertising has been forced to change greatly to keep up with the many different trends in our past and present, and it will continue to change as new trends come into the future. There are now many more ways to advertise products other than just on the Television, you can now advertise through online videos and on demand players, but this wasnââ¬â¢t always the case. Past Early adverts were rather different from those people are familiar with today. They are much longer thanRead MoreMedia Violence Persuasive1556 Words à |à 7 PagesViolent acts presented regularly directly or indirectly (via television, commercials, etc) by an infant can be crucial in their perception of reality. ââ¬Å"Almost half (44%) of both boys and girls reported a strong overlap between what they perceive as reality and what they see on the screenâ⬠(Media violence: facts, 2005). As developing children it is hard to distinguish what is reality to what is fantasy and not real, usually the media presents violence as acts of cruelty that have minimal, if any, immediateRead More Pleasantville Essay787 Words à |à 4 Pagesbut one of the most powerful and effective ways to address society is through film and television. Broadcasting, radio and television are the primary means by which information and entertainment are delivered to the public in virtually every nation around the world, and they have become a crucial instrument of modern social and political organization. Most of todayââ¬â¢s television programming genres are derived from earlier media such as stage, cinema and radio. In the area of comedy, sitcoms have provenRead MoreTelevision Has Impacted The World Of Entertainment720 Words à |à 3 Pages52 million television set in American homes. Today, approximately, 285 million televisions sets are in American households. Almost every Americans own a television in their homes and it is the one of the most popular electronics devices. Since the invention of television, television had impacted the world of entertainment. In 1960s, television was founded mostly on political forces. While the modern world, television was created on drama and entertainment. The transition of television shows in theRead MoreA Comparison of American and British TV Comedy Essay1700 Words à |à 7 PagesA Comparison of American and British TV Comedy Sit-coms in television history have been one of the most important genres for expressing the values of the middle and lower classes in our society, not in order to make fun of them but to express the best of them in a softer way. For the general public today, the sit-com is like the pantomime was for the Victorians. British comedy still has a Victorian taste, but it is one that is only recognized and truly appreciated byRead MoreHow Does The United States Media Affects Mental Illness? Essay998 Words à |à 4 PagesResearch Question How does the United States media, specifically in television, portray mental illness? Methodology Modern television shows will be analyzed to find any indication of a shift from misrepresentation of the mentally ill to a portrayal that does not represent them as incapable or unable to perform well socially in the real world, or in a job. Shows such as Greyââ¬â¢s Anatomy and Homeland will be evaluated based on the correct representation of disorders such as posttraumatic stress disorderRead MoreMedia And Its Impact On Society Essay1678 Words à |à 7 Pagesprofound, and sacred human activity is stripped away; there is no ritual, no dogma, no tradition, no theology, and above all no sense of spiritual transcendence. On these shows, the preacher is tops. God comes out as second bananaâ⬠(Postman 116-117). Television has degraded and is transforming religion into something unimportant. Each time a religious service was televised, a new unappreciation towards religion grows. Even Postmanââ¬â¢s use of diction demonstrates how society is viewing religion as somethingRead Mor eDoes Racial Bias Affect The Lives Of Americans? Essay1593 Words à |à 7 Pagesways that systemic racial bias affects the lives of Americans, it is important to first define what systemic racial bias actually is. For the purposes of this research paper, it is the tendency of racism to exist in a specified process. Throughout the past centuries, the presence of this bias changed significantly but not disappeared. In an age of media at every turn, the can influence so much and be so powerful. Unfortunately, one of the most apparent outlets of systemic racial bias is this proclaimedRead MoreTelevision Is A Central Form Of Communication1708 Words à |à 7 Pagesroller coaster, from happiness, sadness, hunger, fatigue, or scared? The remarkable world of television can take a person anywhere. Television is a central form of communication which connects people with the outside world. The television has been around for decades and is found in practically every household. People watch the news, movies, game shows, or reality shows; there is a show for everyone, and, like it or not, there are plenty of advertisements. The creation of the television has been the
Wednesday, May 6, 2020
The Golden Lily Chapter 9 Free Essays
string(41) " few of her enemies over to her already\." THOSE OF US WHO KNEW what to look for could instantly spot Moroi by their pale complexions and tall, slim builds. To most human eyes, those features stood out but werenââ¬â¢t a vampire tip-off. Humans just noted the features as striking and unusual, much as Lia regarded Jill as the perfect ethereal runway form. We will write a custom essay sample on The Golden Lily Chapter 9 or any similar topic only for you Order Now I didnââ¬â¢t want to play upon stereotypes, but after a quick assessment of Mr. Ivashkovââ¬â¢s Moroi-paleness, long face, dour look, and silver hair, I kind of wondered that he didnââ¬â¢t get mistaken for a vampire more often. No, vampire wasnââ¬â¢t really the correct term, I decided. More like undertaker. ââ¬Å"Dad,â⬠said Adrian stiffly. ââ¬Å"Always a pleasure.â⬠ââ¬Å"For some of us.â⬠His father studied me, and I saw his eyes fall on my cheek. He extended a hand. I took it, proud that shaking hands with Moroi was a non-event for me now. ââ¬Å"Nathan Ivashkov.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sydney Sage,â⬠I replied. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s very nice to meet you, sir.â⬠ââ¬Å"I met Sage while I was bumming around out here,â⬠explained Adrian. ââ¬Å"She was nice enough to give me a ride from ll.A. today since I donââ¬â¢t have a car.â⬠Nathan looked at me in astonishment. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s a long drive.â⬠Not nearly as long as the drive from Palm Springs, but weââ¬â¢d figured it would be safest ââ¬â and more believable ââ¬â to let him think Adrian was in Los Angeles. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t mind, sir,â⬠I said. I glanced over at Adrian. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll go get some work done. You want to text me when youââ¬â¢re ready to go?â⬠ââ¬Å"Work?â⬠he asked in disgust. ââ¬Å"Come on, Sage. Go buy a bikini and enjoy the pool while youââ¬â¢re hanging around.â⬠Nathan looked between us incredulously. ââ¬Å"You made her drive you out here, and now youââ¬â¢re just going to make her wait around for your convenience?â⬠ââ¬Å"Really,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t ââ¬â ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"Sheââ¬â¢s an Alchemist,â⬠continued Nathan. ââ¬Å"Not a chauffeur. Thereââ¬â¢s a big difference.â⬠Actually, there were days at Amberwood I doubted that. ââ¬Å"Come, Miss Sage. If youââ¬â¢ve wasted your day driving my son here, the least I can do is buy you lunch.â⬠I shot a panicked look at Adrian. It wasnââ¬â¢t panicked because I was afraid of being with Moroi. Iââ¬â¢d long since gotten used to these sorts of situations. What I was unsure of was if Adrian really wanted me around for his family reunion. That hadnââ¬â¢t been part of the plan. Also, I wasnââ¬â¢t sure that I really wanted to be around for said reunion either. ââ¬Å"Dad ââ¬â â⬠Adrian attempted. ââ¬Å"I insist,â⬠said Nathan crisply. ââ¬Å"Pay attention and learn common courtesy.â⬠He turned and began walking away, assuming weââ¬â¢d follow. We did. ââ¬Å"Should I find a reason to leave?â⬠I whispered to Adrian. ââ¬Å"Not when he uses his ââ¬ËI insistââ¬â¢ voice,â⬠came the muttered response. For a moment, catching sight of the gorgeous terrace restaurant and its sunny ocean view, I thought I could handle the Ivashkovs. Sitting out there in that warmth and beauty would be well worth the drama. Then, Nathan walked right past the balcony doors and led us to the elevator. We followed obediently. He took us down to the hotelââ¬â¢s ground floor, to a pub called The Corkscrew. The place was dim and windowless, with low-hanging wood beams and black leather booths. Oak barrels lined the walls, and what light there was came filtered through red glass lamps. Aside from a lone bartender, the pub was empty, which didnââ¬â¢t entirely surprise me this time of day. What did surprise me was that Nathan had taken us here instead of the ritzy outdoor restaurant. The guy was dressed in an expensive suit that looked like it had come straight from a Manhattan boardroom. Why heââ¬â¢d ignore a trendy, elite restaurant for lunch and instead choose a stuffy, dark ââ¬â Dark. I nearly groaned. Of course the terrace wasnââ¬â¢t an option, not with Moroi. The sunny afternoon that made such enchanting conditions for me would have resulted in a pretty miserable lunch for the Ivashkovs ââ¬â not that either of them looked like they planned on enjoying this one anyway. ââ¬Å"Mr. Ivashkov,â⬠said the bartender. ââ¬Å"Nice to see you back.â⬠ââ¬Å"Can I get food delivered down here again?â⬠asked Nathan. ââ¬Å"Of course.â⬠Again. This subterranean lair had probably been Nathanââ¬â¢s mainstay for all meals since arriving in San Diego. I allowed the terrace one last, wistful thought and then followed Nathan and Adrian inside. Nathan selected a corner table intended for eight people. Maybe he liked his space. Or maybe he liked pretending he was presiding over a corporate meeting. The bartender gave us menus and took drink orders. I got coffee. Adrian ordered a martini, earning disapproving looks from his father and me. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s barely noon,â⬠said Nathan. ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠said Adrian. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m surprised I held out that long too.â⬠Nathan ignored the comment and turned to me. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re very young. You must have just started with the Alchemists.â⬠ââ¬Å"They start us all young,â⬠I agreed. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ve been working on my own for a little over a year.â⬠ââ¬Å"I admire that. Shows a great deal of responsibility and initiative.â⬠He nodded thanks as the bartender set down a bottle of sparkling water. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s no secret how the Alchemists feel about us, but at the same time, your group does a lot of good for us. Your efficiency is particularly remarkable. Too bad my own people donââ¬â¢t pay more attention to that example.â⬠ââ¬Å"How are things with the Moroi?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"With the queen?â⬠Nathan almost smiled. ââ¬Å"Are you saying you donââ¬â¢t know?â⬠I did ââ¬â at least, I knew what the Alchemists knew. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s always different hearing an insiderââ¬â¢s perspective, sir.â⬠He chuckled. It was a harsh sound, like laughing wasnââ¬â¢t something Nathan Ivashkov had much practice with. ââ¬Å"The situationââ¬â¢s better than it was. Not great, though. That girlââ¬â¢s smart, Iââ¬â¢ll give her that.â⬠I assumed ââ¬Å"that girlâ⬠was Vasilisa Dragomir, teenage queen of the Moroi and Roseââ¬â¢s best friend. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m sure sheââ¬â¢d rather be passing dhampir laws and hereditary laws ââ¬â but she knows those are only going to anger her opponents. So, sheââ¬â¢s finding ways to compromise on other issues and has won a few of her enemies over to her already. You read "The Golden Lily Chapter 9" in category "Essay examples"â⬠The hereditary laws. Those were of interest to me. There were twelve royal lines among the Moroi, and Vasilisa and Jill were the only two left in theirs. Current Moroi law said a monarch had to have at least one other family member, which was how Jill had become such a political game piece. Even ha rdcore assassins would have a difficult time taking out a wellguarded queen. Removing her half sister would provide the same results, however, and invalidate Vasilisaââ¬â¢s rule. That was why Jill had ended up in hiding. Nathanââ¬â¢s thoughts followed the same lines. ââ¬Å"Sheââ¬â¢s also smart to hide that bastard sister of hers.â⬠I knew he meant ââ¬Å"bastardâ⬠in the sense of an illegitimate child, not an insult, but I still winced. ââ¬Å"Rumor has it your people know something about that. Donââ¬â¢t suppose youââ¬â¢d give me an insiderââ¬â¢s perspective on it?â⬠I shook my head and tried to keep my tone friendly. ââ¬Å"Sorry, sir. Insight only goes so far.â⬠After a few moments of silence, Nathan cleared his throat. ââ¬Å"Well, Adrian. What is it you wanted?â⬠Adrian took a sip of his martini. ââ¬Å"Oh, did you just notice I was here? I thought youââ¬â¢d come to see Sydney.â⬠I sank into my chair a little. This was exactly the kind of situation Iââ¬â¢d wanted to avoid. ââ¬Å"Why must every question yield some difficult answer with you?â⬠asked Nathan wearily. ââ¬Å"Maybe itââ¬â¢s the kinds of questions you ask, Dad.â⬠This pub wasnââ¬â¢t going to be big enough to hold the rapidly increasing tension. Every instinct told me to become invisible, but I found myself speaking anyway. ââ¬Å"Adrianââ¬â¢s in college,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Taking art classes. Heââ¬â¢s very talented.â⬠Adrian shot me a questioning ââ¬â but amused ââ¬â look at that. Some of his pieces were quite good. Others ââ¬â especially when heââ¬â¢d been drinking ââ¬â looked like heââ¬â¢d accidentally spilled paint on canvas. Iââ¬â¢d helpfully told him so on a number of occasions. Nathan looked unimpressed. ââ¬Å"Yes. Heââ¬â¢s done that before. It didnââ¬â¢t last.â⬠ââ¬Å"Different time, different place,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Things can change. People can change.â⬠ââ¬Å"But often, they donââ¬â¢t,â⬠declared Nathan. The bartender returned to take our lunch orders, though none of us had even looked at the menus yet. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll just order for us all, shall I?â⬠Nathan opened the menu and scanned it quickly. ââ¬Å"Bring us a platter of the garlic butter mushrooms, the goat cheese fondue, the bacon-wrapped scallops, and the fried oyster Caesar salad. Enough for three on the salad, obviously.â⬠The bartender made a couple of quick notes and was gone before I could even say a word. ââ¬Å"Heavy-handed much, Dad?â⬠asked Adrian. ââ¬Å"You didnââ¬â¢t even ask if we minded you ordering.â⬠Nathan looked unconcerned. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ve eaten here before. I know whatââ¬â¢s good. Trust me, youââ¬â¢ll like it.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sage wonââ¬â¢t eat any of that.â⬠This really would be easier, I decided, if theyââ¬â¢d both just pretend I didnââ¬â¢t exist. ââ¬Å"Why ever not?â⬠asked Nathan, looking at me curiously. ââ¬Å"Are you allergic to seafood?â⬠ââ¬Å"She only eats healthy stuff,â⬠said Adrian. ââ¬Å"Everything you just got is dripping in fat.â⬠ââ¬Å"A little butter wonââ¬â¢t hurt her. Youââ¬â¢ll both see that Iââ¬â¢m right. Itââ¬â¢s all good. Besides,â⬠Nathan added, pausing to sip at his water. ââ¬Å"I did order a salad for the table. Lettuce is healthy.â⬠I didnââ¬â¢t even attempt to point out that no amount of Romaine was going to make up for fried oysters or Caesar dressing. I wouldnââ¬â¢t have had a chance to speak up anyway because Adrian was on a roll and ââ¬â I noticed with some surprise ââ¬â halfway through his martini. ââ¬Å"You see?â⬠he said in disgust. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s exactly how you operate. You assume you know best for everyone. You just go ahead and make these decisions, not bothering to consult with anyone, because youââ¬â¢re so certain youââ¬â¢re right.â⬠ââ¬Å"In my vast experience,â⬠said Nathan coldly, ââ¬Å"I am usually right. When you too possess that kind of experience ââ¬â when you can actually claim to be an authority on, well, anything ââ¬â then you can also be trusted with important decisions.â⬠ââ¬Å"This is lunch,â⬠Adrian argued back. ââ¬Å"Not a life or death decision. All Iââ¬â¢m saying is that you could have at least made some effort to include others. Obviously, your ââ¬Ëvast experienceââ¬â¢ doesnââ¬â¢t apply to normal courtesies.â⬠Nathan glanced over at me. ââ¬Å"Have I been anything but courteous to you, Miss Sage?â⬠My chair, much to my dismay, didnââ¬â¢t swallow me up or offer to hide me. Adrian finished his martini in a gulp and held up the glass to catch the bartenderââ¬â¢s eye. ââ¬Å"Leave her out of it,â⬠Adrian told his father. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t try to manipulate her into proving your point.â⬠ââ¬Å"I hardly need to manipulate anyone into proving my point,â⬠said Nathan. ââ¬Å"I think itââ¬â¢s made.â⬠ââ¬Å"Lunch will be fine,â⬠I blurted out, fully aware that this altercation between father and son really had nothing to do with my eating habits. ââ¬Å"I need to try more things anyway.â⬠ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t give in to him, Sydney,â⬠warned Adrian. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s how he gets away with walking all over people ââ¬â especially women. Heââ¬â¢s done it to my mom for years.â⬠The bartender silently appeared and replaced the empty martini glass with a full one. ââ¬Å"Please,â⬠said Nathan, with a heavy sigh. ââ¬Å"Letââ¬â¢s leave your mother out of this.â⬠ââ¬Å"Should be easy enough,â⬠said Adrian. I could see lines of tension in his face. His mother was a sensitive topic. ââ¬Å"Seeing as you always do. Iââ¬â¢ve been trying to get an answer out of you for weeks on how sheââ¬â¢s doing! Hell, Iââ¬â¢ve just been trying to figure out where sheââ¬â¢s even at. Is that so hard for you to give up? She canââ¬â¢t be in maximum security. They must let her get letters.â⬠ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s better that you donââ¬â¢t have contact with her while sheââ¬â¢s incarcerated,â⬠said Nathan. Even I was amazed at how coldly he spoke about his wife. Adrian sneered and took a sip of his new martini. ââ¬Å"There we are again: you knowing whatââ¬â¢s best for everyone. You know, Iââ¬â¢d really, really like to think youââ¬â¢re keeping this avoidance attitude with her because it hurts too much. I know that if the woman I loved was locked away, Iââ¬â¢d be doing everything in my power to reach her. For you? Maybe itââ¬â¢s too hard. Maybe the only way you can cope without her is to block her out ââ¬â and by keeping me away too. I could almost understand that.â⬠ââ¬Å"Adrian ââ¬â â⬠began Nathan. ââ¬Å"But thatââ¬â¢s not it, is it? You donââ¬â¢t want me to have contact ââ¬â and you probably arenââ¬â¢t having contact ââ¬â because youââ¬â¢re embarrassed.â⬠Adrian was really getting worked up now. ââ¬Å"You want to distance us and pretend what she did doesnââ¬â¢t exist. You want to pretend that she doesnââ¬â¢t exist. Sheââ¬â¢s ruined the family reputation.â⬠Nathan fixed his son with a steely look. ââ¬Å"Considering your own reputation, Iââ¬â¢d think you would see the wisdom in not associating with someone who has done what sheââ¬â¢s done.â⬠ââ¬Å"What, screw up?â⬠Adrian demanded. ââ¬Å"We all screw up. Everyone makes mistakes. Thatââ¬â¢s what she did. It was bad judgment, thatââ¬â¢s all. You donââ¬â¢t cut off the people you love for mistakes like that.â⬠ââ¬Å"She did it because of you,â⬠said Nathan. His tone left no question about what he thought of that decision. ââ¬Å"Because you couldnââ¬â¢t leave well enough alone with that dhampir girl. You had to flaunt your relationship with her, nearly getting yourself in as much trouble as her in your auntââ¬â¢s murder. Thatââ¬â¢s why your mother did what she did ââ¬â to protect you. Because of your irresponsibility, sheââ¬â¢s in prison now. All of this is your fault.â⬠Adrian went pale ââ¬â more so than usual ââ¬â and looked too shocked to even attempt any response. He picked up his martini again, and I was almost certain I could see his hands shaking. It was right around then that two waiters from the upstairs restaurant showed up with our food. We stared in silence as they arranged our place settings and artfully laid out the platters of food. Looking at all that food made me nauseous, and it had nothing to do with the oill or salt content. ââ¬Å"Mr. Ivashkov,â⬠I began, despite every reasonable voice in my head screaming at me to shut up. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s unfair to blame Adrian for her choices, especially when he didnââ¬â¢t even realize what she was doing. I know he would do anything for her. If heââ¬â¢d been able to stop this ââ¬â or take her place ââ¬â he would have.â⬠ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re sure of that, huh?â⬠Nathan was piling his plate with food and seemed quite excited about it. Neither Adrian nor I had an appetite. ââ¬Å"Well, Miss Sage, Iââ¬â¢m sorry to shatter your illusions, but it seems you ââ¬â like so many other young women ââ¬â have been fooled by my sonââ¬â¢s fast-talking ways. I can assure you, he has never done anything that didnââ¬â¢t serve his own interests first. He has no initiative, no ambition, no follow-through. From a very early age, he was constantly breaking rules, never listening to what others had to say if it didnââ¬â¢t suit what he wanted. Iââ¬â¢m not really surprised his college attempts have failed ââ¬â and I assure you, this one will too ââ¬â because he barely made it out of high school. It wasnââ¬â¢t even about the drinking, the girls, and the stunts he pulledâ⬠¦ he just didnââ¬â¢t care. He ignored his work. It was only through our influence and checkbook that he managed to graduate. Since then, itââ¬â¢s been a constant downward spiral.â⬠Adrian looked like heââ¬â¢d been slapped. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but even I was still in shock from Nathanââ¬â¢s words. Adrian clearly was too. It was one thing to go on and on about how you thought your father was disappointed in you. It was an entirely different thing to hear your father explain it in excruciating detail. I knew because I had been in both situations. ââ¬Å"Honestly, I donââ¬â¢t even mind the drinking so much, so long as it knocks him out and keeps him quiet,â⬠continued Nathan, through a mouth full of goat cheese. ââ¬Å"You think his mother suffers now? I assure you, sheââ¬â¢s far better off. She was up countless nights, crying over whatever trouble heââ¬â¢d gotten himself into. Keeping him away from her now isnââ¬â¢t about me or him. Itââ¬â¢s for her. At least now, she doesnââ¬â¢t have to hear about his latest antics or worry about him. Ignorance is bliss. Sheââ¬â¢s in a better place not having contact with him, and I intend to keep it that way.â⬠He offered the scallops to me, as though he hadnââ¬â¢t just delivered a huge chastisement without taking a breath. ââ¬Å"You really should try this. Proteinââ¬â¢s good for you, you know.â⬠I shook my head, unable to find words. Adrian took a deep breath. ââ¬Å"Really, Dad? I come all the way here to see you, to ask you to give me some way to contact herâ⬠¦ and this is all I get? That sheââ¬â¢s better off not talking to me?â⬠Looking at him, I had a feeling he was working very hard to stay calm and reasonable. Breaking into snarky Adrian retorts wouldnââ¬â¢t win him any ground, and he knew it. Nathan looked startled. ââ¬Å"Is that the only reason you came here?â⬠It was clear from his tone that he thought it was a foolish reason. Adrian bit his lip, probably again to hold back his true feelings. I was impressed at his control. ââ¬Å"I also thoughtâ⬠¦ well, that maybe youââ¬â¢d want to hear how I was doing. I thought you might be glad to know I was doing something useful.â⬠I gasped. For a moment, his father simply stared. Then, his confusion melted into one of those awkward laughs. ââ¬Å"Ah. Youââ¬â¢re joking. I was puzzled for a moment.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m done with this,â⬠said Adrian. In a flash, he downed his martini and was out of his seat, heading toward the door. Nathan continued eating undisturbed, but I was on my feet as well. It was only when I was halfway across the pub, trying to catch up with Adrian, that Nathan bothered to say anything else. ââ¬Å"Miss Sage?â⬠Every part of me wanted to run after Adrian, but I paused to glance back at his father. Nathan had taken out his wallet and was flipping through a stack of bills. ââ¬Å"Here. Allow me to pay you for your gas and your time.â⬠He held the cash out, and I almost laughed. Adrian had forced himself to come here for all sorts of reasons, money being one of them. Heââ¬â¢d never gotten a chance to ask for it, yet here his father was, offering it up. I didnââ¬â¢t move. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t want anything from you,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Unless itââ¬â¢s an apology to Adrian.â⬠Nathan gave me another blank look. He seemed sincerely confused. ââ¬Å"What do I have to apologize for?â⬠I left. Adrian had either taken the stairs or immediately caught an elevator because there was no sign of him outside the pub. I went back up to the lobby and peered around anxiously. A bellman passed by, and I flagged him down. ââ¬Å"Excuse me. Whereââ¬â¢s the nearest place you can smoke?â⬠He nodded back toward the front door. ââ¬Å"Far side of the circle drive.â⬠I thanked him and practically ran outside. Sure enough, over in the designated smoking area, Adrian was leaning against an ornate fence in the shade of an orange tree, lighting up. I hurried over to him. ââ¬Å"Adrian,â⬠I exclaimed. ââ¬Å"Are you okay?â⬠He took a long drag on his cigarette. ââ¬Å"Is that really a question you want to ask, Sage?â⬠ââ¬Å"He was out of line,â⬠I said adamantly. ââ¬Å"He had no business saying any of that about you.â⬠Adrian inhaled on the cigarette again and then dropped it to the sidewalk. He stamped the cigarette out with the toe of his shoe. ââ¬Å"Letââ¬â¢s just go back to Palm Springs.â⬠I glanced back at the hotel. ââ¬Å"We should get you some water or something. You took down that vodka pretty fast.â⬠He nearly smiled. Nearly. ââ¬Å"Takes a lot more than that to make me sick. I wonââ¬â¢t throw up in your car. I promise. I just donââ¬â¢t want to stick around and risk seeing him again.â⬠I complied, and before long, we were back on the road again. Weââ¬â¢d spent less time in San Diego than it had taken to drive there. Adrian stayed silent, and this time, I didnââ¬â¢t try to coax him out or distract him with meaningless conversation. No words of mine would help. I doubted anyoneââ¬â¢s words would help. I didnââ¬â¢t blame Adrian for his mood. Iââ¬â¢d feel the same way if my father had laid into me like that in public. Still, I wished there was something I could do to ease Adrianââ¬â¢s pain. Some small comfort to give him a moment of peace. My chance came when I saw a small gas station outside of Escondido with a sign reading BEST SLUSHES IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA HERE AT JUMBO JIMââ¬â¢S! I remembered his joke about switching to a slush-based diet. I turned my car off the highway, even though I knew it was silly. What was a slush compared to the disaster weââ¬â¢d just left behind? Still, I had to do something ââ¬â anything ââ¬â to make Adrian feel better. He didnââ¬â¢t even seem to notice weââ¬â¢d stopped there until I was getting out of the car. ââ¬Å"Whatââ¬â¢s up?â⬠he asked, managing to drag himself out of his dark thoughts. The look on his face tore me apart. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢ve got half a tank.â⬠ââ¬Å"Be right back,â⬠I said. I returned five minutes later, a cup in each hand, and managed to knock on his window. He got out of the car, truly puzzled now. ââ¬Å"Whatââ¬â¢s going on?â⬠ââ¬Å"Slushes,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Cherry for you. You have to drink it out here, though. Iââ¬â¢m not risking the car.â⬠Adrian blinked a couple of times, as though maybe I was a mirage brought on by too much sunlight. ââ¬Å"What is this? A pity party for me? Because Iââ¬â¢m so pathetic?â⬠ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s not always about you,â⬠I scolded. ââ¬Å"I saw the sign and wanted a slush. Figured youââ¬â¢d want one too. If you donââ¬â¢t, Iââ¬â¢ll throw it away and just drink mine.â⬠I only got one step away before he stopped me and took the bright red slush. We leaned against the car together and drank without talking for a while. ââ¬Å"Man,â⬠he finally said, when we were about halfway through. There was a look of wonder in his eyes. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢d forgotten how good these are. What kind did you get?â⬠ââ¬Å"Blue raspberry.â⬠He nodded and slurped loudly on his. That dark mood still hung around him, and I knew a childhood beverage wasnââ¬â¢t going to undo what his father had done anytime soon. The best I could hope for was a few moments of peace for him. We finished shortly thereafter and tossed the cups in the trash. When we got back in Latte, Adrian sighed wearily and rubbed his eyes. ââ¬Å"God, those are awesome. I think I needed that. The vodka may have hit me harder than I thought. Glad you decided to branch out into something that isnââ¬â¢t coffee for a change.â⬠ââ¬Å"Hey, if theyââ¬â¢d had coffee flavor, you know I wouldââ¬â¢ve gotten it.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s disgusting,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"There isnââ¬â¢t enough sugar in the world to make that even remotely ââ¬â â⬠He stopped and gave me a startled look. In fact, he looked so shocked that I stopped backing up and kicked the car back into park. ââ¬Å"Whatââ¬â¢s wrong?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"The slush. That thingââ¬â¢s like 99 percent sugar. You just drank one, Sage.â⬠He seemed to interpret my silence as though perhaps I hadnââ¬â¢t understood. ââ¬Å"You just drank liquid sugar.â⬠ââ¬Å"Maybe you drank liquid sugar,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Mine was sugar free.â⬠I hoped I sounded convincing. ââ¬Å"Oh.â⬠I couldnââ¬â¢t tell if he was relieved or disappointed. ââ¬Å"You freaked me out there for a minute.â⬠ââ¬Å"You shouldââ¬â¢ve known better.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah. I suppose so.â⬠He fell back into his blue mood, the slushes only a temporary distraction. ââ¬Å"You know what the worst part of all that was?â⬠I knew we were back to his father, not slushes. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢d think itââ¬â¢d be that I didnââ¬â¢t get the money or that he just ripped my life apart or that he has no faith in me sticking to college. But thatââ¬â¢s okay. Iââ¬â¢m used to that from him. What really bothers me is that I really did ruin my momââ¬â¢s life.â⬠ââ¬Å"I canââ¬â¢t imagine you did,â⬠I said, shocked at his words. ââ¬Å"Like you pointed out, we still love people who make mistakes. Iââ¬â¢m sure she loves you too. Anyway, thatââ¬â¢s something you need to discuss with her ââ¬â not him.â⬠He nodded. ââ¬Å"The other thing that bothered meâ⬠¦ well, he said all that in front of you.â⬠That was a shock too. I brushed it off, feeling a little flustered that he would think so much of my opinion. Why should he care? ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t worry about me. Iââ¬â¢ve been with much more abrasive people than him.â⬠ââ¬Å"No, noâ⬠¦ I meanâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ Adrian looked at me and then quickly averted his eyes. ââ¬Å"After what he said about me, I canââ¬â¢t stand the thought that you might think less of me.â⬠I was so surprised that I couldnââ¬â¢t muster a response right away. When I did, I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. ââ¬Å"Of course I donââ¬â¢t.â⬠He still wouldnââ¬â¢t look at me, apparently not believing my words. ââ¬Å"Adrian.â⬠I laid my hand over his and felt a warm spark of connection. He jerked his head toward me in astonishment. ââ¬Å"Nothing he said could change what I think of you. Iââ¬â¢ve had my mind made up about you for a long timeâ⬠¦ and itââ¬â¢s all good.â⬠Adrian looked away from me and down to where my hand covered his. I blushed and pulled away. ââ¬Å"Sorry.â⬠Iââ¬â¢d probably freaked him out. He glanced back up at me. ââ¬Å"Best thing thatââ¬â¢s happened to me all day. Letââ¬â¢s hit the road.â⬠We got back on the highway, and I found myself distracted by two things. First was my hand. It still tingled and felt warm from where Iââ¬â¢d touched his, which was kind of funny. People always thought vampires were cold, but they werenââ¬â¢t. Certainly not Adrian. The sensation was fading the longer I drove, but I kind of wished itââ¬â¢d stay. The other thing that kept distracting me was all that sugar Iââ¬â¢d just consumed. I kept running my tongue over my teeth. My whole mouth was coated in sickening sweetness. I wanted to brush my teeth and then drink a bottle of mouthwash. Liquid sugar. Yes, that was exactly what it had been. I hadnââ¬â¢t wanted to drink one, but Iââ¬â¢d known if Iââ¬â¢d just brought a slush for Adrian, he really wouldââ¬â¢ve read that as pity and refused. I had to act as though Iââ¬â¢d wanted one too, with him as an afterthought. He seemed to have believed my lie about the drinkââ¬â¢s sugar content, though a quick trip into the gas station would have quickly alerted him to the fact that Jumbo Jimââ¬â¢s most certainly didnââ¬â¢t carry sugar-free slushes. Iââ¬â¢d asked them. Theyââ¬â¢d laughed. Skipping lunch wasnââ¬â¢t going to compensate for those calories, I thought glumly. And I wasnââ¬â¢t going to get that sugary taste out of my mouth anytime soon. With as quickly as Adrian had sunk back into his depression, I suddenly felt stupid for even attempting this ruse. A slush couldnââ¬â¢t change what his father had said, and Iââ¬â¢d be a pound up on the scale tomorrow. This probably hadnââ¬â¢t been worth it. Then, I thought back to that brief moment by the car, and Adrianââ¬â¢s fleeting look of contentment, followed later by: God, those are awesome. I think I needed that. A brief moment of peace in the midst of his dark despair. That was what I had wanted, and that was what I had gotten. Was it worth it? I rubbed my fingertips together, still feeling that warmth. Yes, I decided. Yes, it was worth it. How to cite The Golden Lily Chapter 9, Essay examples
Thursday, April 30, 2020
Leadership and Self Doubt free essay sample
The leadership dimension Iââ¬â¢ve identified as a weakness and area Iââ¬â¢d like to improve upon is ââ¬Å"Self-Knowledge and Openness to Learningâ⬠. When it comes to understanding what my limits are based on my own strengths and weaknesses, I fall short. I sometimes overestimate my own ability to perform and overextend myself, which can lead to me not meeting commitments. I have chosen to work on my knowledge of self because it ties in to so many of the other defined leadership dimensions. Understanding who you are as a person is the foundation for any leadership action that is taken. In my post graduate career, I would like to become a serial entrepreneur. Successful entrepreneurs understand what their competencies are and find people that strengthen their weaknesses. A lack of understanding of my strengths and weaknesses may inhibit my success because I wonââ¬â¢t understand the composition of competencies needed on my management team to get the job done. We will write a custom essay sample on Leadership and Self Doubt or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page I found two articles that offer me insight in what may be affecting my misperception. In my mind I am an ââ¬Å"impostorâ⬠who finds himself. I feel like those individuals are making an upward comparison to me, which makes me feel anxiety. The external perception that I am capable and an achiever comes into direct conflict with my own perception of me being less than capable and ââ¬Å"just making it. â⬠This leads me to try to take on more than I can handle; I feel that completing everything Iââ¬â¢ve committed to in the unrealistic timelines I allow myself will make an achiever, thereby resolving the conflict I have between the internal and external perceptions mentioned before. When I fall short, it validates my own feeling that Iââ¬â¢m not capable, until someone again mentions that I am capable and the cycle begins again. In order to deal with the feelings of being an ââ¬Å"impostor,â⬠I need to seek 360-Feedback and find people whom I can trust to be candid with their evaluations of my ability. The feedback exercises with my learning team planned for the year and frequent conversations with my mentors will help address this need. My ââ¬Å"STUCCâ⬠feeling stems in part from my concern for relationships with others and my perception that they may feel alienated by my continued achievement. By receiving feedback that helps me to understand my competencies, I will become more comfortable with my accomplishments and understanding what my strengths, weaknesses and limitations are. This should minimize the anxiety I feel with success by enabling me to accept that Iââ¬â¢ve earned it, which will allow me to better handle situations of feeling ââ¬Å"STUCC;â⬠the humorous self-deprecation will lighten the mood of the interaction for me, not cause me to overextend myself as it had before, thus breaking the cycle. There are no real numeric measures of my own self-knowledge. Evidence of improvement will be seen in how I interact with my team, set goals and accomplish them, and the feeling I get in interactions with others who may offer compliments because of my success. The biggest indicator will be how I feel- if I can become less anxious and comfortable with myself, Iââ¬â¢ll know it inside, which is where most of this cycle takes place. Accomplishing this is the cornerstone of my future success as a business leader.
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